How I Became Reverend Zesty

People who have known me have seen me as a militant Atheist with a zero tolerance policy for (what I see as) stupidity. By stupidity I am referring to faith based beliefs that are presented by the world's religions. Now that they see me proclaiming Reverend status, they are confused and think that I've had a change of heart or loss of sanity.

To these folks I say thank you for your concern but I am in full control of my faculties. You will understand once I explain myself.

There was a time long ago that I considered myself a devout, bible banging Christian. A day didn't go by where I wasn't either in church or at a bible study. I went everywhere with my bible and actually started reading the thing. The WHOLE thing. I started in Genesis and ended with Revelations. I devoured every word, not just the ones the pastor told me to read.

In doing so I began to have questions. Questions about what I was reading. Questions about what I was seeing in churches that didn't exactly fit with what I was reading. Questions about what I witnessed in church. Questions, questions, questions. I had a thirst for the answers to make it all make sense to me. So I approached my spiritual leaders at the time. I was SHOCKED by the response I received.

Such anger. Such hatred. How DARE I question what I was being told. I learned why these people are called sheep that day. So I figure I would take it to prayer. Surely God would provide the answers. For DAYS I prayed awaiting a sign - ANYTHING - but got nothing. In the meantime word spread throughout my church that I was questioning "the word of God" and I was completely ostracized by the flock.

Slowly I come to realize what a load of bullshit I was believing in. The more I searched, the more I discovered what I believed in was quite insane and I eventually left the bible in a drawer. I am now a recovering Christian and have been clean for over 30 years but I will never forget my life as a faith based slave and the oppression that I felt.

Fast forward to 2008 when I decided to become a minister. At first it was to mock what I once believed in, but after some thought, I saw it as something more.

When people donate to religious groups, it's tax-deductible. Churches don't pay property taxes on their land or buildings. When they buy stuff, they don't pay sales taxes. When they sell stuff at a profit, they don't pay capital gains tax. If they spend less than they take in, they don't pay corporate income taxes. Priests, ministers, rabbis and the like get "parsonage exemptions" that let them deduct mortgage payments, rent and other living expenses when they're doing their income taxes. So why the fuck wouldn't I want to become a minister?

So I developed Reverend Zesty. I am a foul mouthed Atheist Preacherman who believes in actually using my brain. My preachings and teachings are for prosperity and living life to the fullest. The bible I was reading said "give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime" Quite the opposite of the message from any pulpit I have seen. Religion does nothing to create fishermen. It enslaves people to be dependent on the faith based beliefs they have been indoctrinated since birth with. When the basket is passed at my church I am not looking for a tithe, I am looking for a way to help people achieve greatness in their lives.

After all, if we are supposed to be created in our God's image, should we not be a shining example of what we are told He is? (IF God is a HE that is)

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