I Hate Christians...Here's Why

Not a day goes by where I’m not asked by a Christian, “What happened to you to make you hate God so much? Why are you so angry at Christians?” 

So let me just answer this question once and for all, and the next time anyone asks, I can just forward them to this blog entry.

In order to make it so the mind of a Christian can easily understand, I will have to explain it in the form of a story. I wish I could explain this in a better way, but because the minds of Christians have been conditioned from birth to understand things that are put in story form, it’s the most efficient way to explain this to you.

So here goes:

Once upon a time, there was a vast country called Americhrist. Now, it just so happened, that every single person in the entire country of Americhrist was born retarded. It was from no fault of their own as they are born into retardation. Every single man, woman, and child all completely, mentally retarded.

Welcome to Americhrist

They couldn’t help being retards any more than  someone who was born left handed could help it.

Retardation was just normal.

Then, suddenly, one day in the land of Americhrist,  about 15% of all the babies began to be born non-retarded.  15% were born with what you and I would call a “normal” level of intelligence .

Now imagine the 15% of babies who were born non-retarded growing up in a society where 85% of the people are mentally retarded. The non-retarded people, obviously, are smart enough to realize that the other 85% of the people around them are totally mentally retarded.

And, while you’re imagining, imagine what a world which is run by the 85% retards would look like. It would be polluted and violent and have arbitrary laws that are, in a word, retarded. It would be full of grown-ups who believe in fairy tales, and who are willing to kill anyone who disagrees that these fairy tales are true.

Now, imagine that the 15% non-retarded people found a cure for mental retardation. They could finally improve the future of all of humanity greatly by curing the mental retardation of the other 85%.

Only thing is, the 85% retarded people enjoy being retarded. They enjoy it very much. Ignorance is total bliss, and it doesn’t matter that they cage more of their fellow man in prison than any other country on earth; they don’t care that they are involved in wars that kill hundreds of thousands of strangers; and they don’t even care that they are killing their host planet.

Being retarded is really fun and easy. Thinking is hard, and the retarded majority of Americhrist will fight tooth and nail to keep from being cured.

Now, imagine you were in that 15% who were not retarded. Wouldn’t you be angry? Wouldn’t you scream and cuss at the stupid retards?

Wouldn’t you yell, “You fools, can’t you see how primitive you are? Can’t you see how violent and stupid you are? Can’t you see what you are doing to your host planet? What is wrong with you?”

But the retarded people won’t listen. They cannot grasp these concepts. They just want you to shut your stupid mouth so they can keep on playing in their fantasy world.

This is why I’m angry and frustrated. I know it’s not your fault. You can’t help that you are retarded, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating for those of us who are not.

Americhrist is not just a make believe place.

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